15 February 2007
its weird writing a post in the middle of the week but i have no choice but to do it.
honestly today is one hell of a fucked up day.
something was wrong with me.
the problem is, what is it? i don't know.
or maybe, i do?
i woke up late with that nightmare still fresh in me.
not late late but woke up at quarter to 8 when i usually wake up quarter past 7.
thank god reached school on time.
so i thought, alright Aqilah its gonna be a fine day.
but i was wrong oh whee.
started biology..when the sms thing started.
my teacher wouldnt even give us any hint for our exam coming next thurs.
thought i had a free period before english so i could use the time to do my undone english homework.
but i was wrong again oh oh whee.
so i scrambled all over the place to get my 5 bloody questions done.
AND to find a supplementary material by 11.05. it was 10am then.
with an hour left its not impossible, i guess.
well its not.
but along the way i was told off again.
had maths after biology.
i didn't turn up to school yesterday.
my maths teacher was full lecturing.
honestly at that point of time with already heaps of things in my mind, i don't need it.
not in the mood to be rude either..
i just said okay.
she kept on going saying things like.
'a day of abscence means 3 days of catch up. that's you problem Aqilah. maybe if you turn up to school more often, you'll ace maths'
gosh it was just a day.
i simply said 'i'll catch up miss'
she said 'it's not the same'
and left.
obviously i was left too with 4 exercises to do on logarithms.
oh and at the same time.
we got the dates for our maths assessment.
9th march is 2unit.
14th march is 3unit.
that's 3 assessments already plus biology.
and its not half the day yet.
when she left, i started doing my english homework.
my answers were brief. but in english, i find the answers useful though quite ironically miss didnt call me out to read my answer like she always do today.
during recess..went to the library to find a supplementary material.
i just need something to bring to class that was what i thought and i thought i'll never use a novel to study.
but then..i found something good.
'Walk in My Shoes' by Alwyn Evans.
and guess what?
me and my mind.
i planned to use that in HSC.
if everything goes well.
after english THEN was my free.
i was hungry as didn't eat anything all day.
so ate my fish sandwich dad packed this morning.
borrowed a friend notes for physics yesterday but when i opened up her book..
i realised she gave me the wrong one.
sms thing still goin on.
mind was fcked up.
so i gave up doin something.
sat, listen to songs and stare at the wall.
after free, it was lunch.
as usual..thursday SRC meeting.
i stepped in the room realising i didn't have my SRC badge on.
as a senior council i should show some good example.
oh wells.
thought my coordinator wouldn't check but she did.
and i got told off for the second time today.
not in a bad way.
but she just shook her head and said 'Siti..sigh. you're in senior council'
made me feel bad as.
was sitting infront but hell didn't get what my captain was talking about.
after meeting can't help it but apologise to her.
if i didn't i'll feel even bad.
so went to her office and met her personally.
she was cool about it and she said she was impressed i came to apologise.
'i had to, Miss'
i said 'Miss, i promise this will never happen again, i completely forgot to put it on cos i changed my shirt this morning. i promise first thing in the morning tomorrow i'll meet you with my badge on'
she gave me a hug. and told me not to feel bad.
she said 'you're a good girl.'
thanks.
so i went off to physics still feeling shitty.
sir saw the expression.
well he knows me.
when i stepped in class he said.
'looks like someone's having a bad day'
thanks, Sir.
oh gosh.
nothing much in physics.
just catching up.
chemistry next.
honestly i just felt like breaking down there and then.
sadaf gave me a hug atleast, i felt a bit better.
thought of goin swimming after school.
to get stuffs out of my mind.
but dad was pmsing. stepped into the car and he kept lecturing abt i dunno what like wtf is wrong with him?
found out that he didn't get the house that he wanted to lease.
and he blame it on me.
i don't see the point but i just kept quiet.
no point arguing with lots of things in mind anyway right?
picked up mum from work.
thought she's gonna help shut him up.
but it couldnt get any worse.
sigh.
reached home, changed and slept hoping that i could shut my ears from all that's happening around me.
to sum it all up.
i have a biology test next thurs.
a major essay to hand in that thurs as well.
2 tests in 3 weeks. maths and chem.
chem is my open ended investigation.
i have to create my own expt.
sounds cool but with a mind like this it seriously isn't.
maths 3unit test in 4 weeks time.
have to get my SRC website up and ready in 2 weeks.
and the SRC forum in 3 weeks.
week 5 is when i officially start my role as a Junior Liason Officer.
and.. sigh. nvm.
and yeah.
can things get any better?
p.s. i'm sorry but i still think you don't deserve me and my shit.
