29 December 2005

my dad is back!!
yeyyey!
my dad is back again!!
haha.
damn happy laaa.

sometimes i really think what i really wanna achieve in life la.
my goal. my dreams.
yes yes.
lucky for me, im open to different choices.
lets see.

right after my results are out, i got two major choices to make.
typically like evry one else, they wud tink if they wanna go jc or poly.
but for me. damn i feel weird.
i have a choice.
whether i wanna stay in sgp to pursue my studies,
or i go australia n take my tertiary there.
but the point is.
dis choice matters when i see my results.
wad do i mean.
it's definitely education in sgp are so much better but
the reason why i wanna go to oz is because of the opportunities, cultures and experience. yeah yeah. education here are better but life there is much relaxed.
i don't mean not having stress at all. of coz not.
every where u go there will be stress..

but, what i heard studying there, u feel u can have more time not only to urself but ur family n frens.
there'll be lots of work definitely and the hard work comes in, but the load of work is so much lesser.
in other words, there's ur leisure time.
u find urself doing different things every single day, i mean as our part of view cz i've never lived in australia before.
ive never experience the things there. not really la.
cz ive been staying in sgp for years. n maybe a newcomer from other countries may think it'll benefit them cz they never lived in sgp b4.
n maybe when i already live in australia for the same years like how ive been living in singapore, i tink i'll get tired too i tink i'll say the same ting like what i said now..
but it doesnt matter to me cz im off for a short term, a term where im totally gonna concentrate on my dreams, my career, my future.

that's what im going there for, for one thing, my studies.

and i have the opportunity, why not go. i don't see the reasons why i dun wanna go. i see the benefits but something's really stopping me.

life here has been good la seriously. n if i leave, im gonna totally like miss the people, the life (eventho its hectic) and the great food. my friends. my sastera melayu. hahah.

tat is the reason. i wanna get into a jc for sastera melayu. malay language and literature. H2. i wanna get into bahas 4pm. (yeah man).
but, i considered so much things last night, and one of it is, is that my long term goal?
getting into bahas 4pm is my long term goal?
seriously its not.
but definitely i just love to study that subject.
i hope for.
apart from regular science n maths.
i just find studying in a junior college in sgp, especially when the new system is out (H1, H2, H3 stuffs), is very very interesting.
eventho i noe its gonna be stressful and busy, i just think its interesting n im gonna enjoy it.
that is one of the reason that is holding me back.

apart from that, npcc.
my life, one of my asset.
being a CI was a dream come true.
i really don't wanna lose this dream.
it's just unthinkable la.
hah!

but it sets me thinking too.

if i go to oz, im gonna get into their high school.
totally new system, new culture, new environment.
will i adapt well? can i suit their culture?
i dun really worry about this la, cz ive been 'changing places' since i was a kid.
from brunei to oman to singapore.
im everywhere.
but the education system is what worries me.
well, oh gosh.

if i stay back in here,
can i juggle tym between npcc n jc?
oh did i mention, most probably, i would go ahead to australia if i didnt qualify for nanyang jc?
15 points!
in my point of view,
just my point of view, considering my ambition, my goal, ive got to fight for it, its total competition, good grades n nothing else, that's what will happen if i stay in sgp.
but that is not my kind of life.
that is not what im searching for.
no.
and if i wanna get into the course of my dream, be it in NUS or UNSW, i gotta get into a good jc.
and im aiming for nanyang. 15 points once again.
if i don't qualify for nyjc, guess i'll just go ahead to oz.

but if, i qualified for nyjc or better, it sets me thinking too.
can i guarantee good grades for my alevels?
i noe myself, i cant study under sttress so can i guarantee good grades for my alevels?
and if i qualify.
like i said..can i juggle the time btw my studies and npcc.

atleast, if i eventually want to study down under,
atleast if i can't cope with the system, i still have singapore to lean back on.
there is nothing to lose in other words cz i have my singapore citizenship still.
i got the opportunities.

my choices are open.
im still considering.
but watever it is, my parents restu is the most impt ting in my life.
eventho they dun mind whatever i choose, i wanna be the best for them.
because they have been the best for me.

happy new year everyone.
whatever choices u take after ur o's, consider it wisely k.
cz its gonna be ur career, ur future.
because, i learn from other people mistake.

dreams, determination, doa, destiny.

with dreams u need determination for it to come true.
with lotsa doa to Him, things will be ok, insyaallah.
and when u doa, work for ur dreams n leave it to god. that's our destiny.

like they say, we have dreams, but destiny is in god's hands.
hanya Allah yang menentukan.

one ting for sure, watver i do, im not gonna be too mengharap.
im not gonna be over hopeful.
i noe in my mind, whatever happens has its reason.
not to regret cz it's like regretting ur life.

my dream? maybe some of u noe. maybe not. maybe u noe but u dunnoe if im serious or joking. but i don't wish to reveal it la. cz if one day, someone asks me,
"aqilah, have u achieved ur dreams?"
i will definitely say yes. :)

take care people.

oh n my new year's resolution.
be more matured.
make this impt decision to my best part.
and smile, enjoy life like i always did.

happy new year once again.

forgive me for all the wrongdoings throughout the year.
forgive me to those whom i hurt zahir atau batin.
forgive me to those who need me but i wasnt there for any reason.
forgive me if ure just not happy with me.

ok. forgive me, but tell me if u still hate me or not. hahah.

to my friends, u noe who u r.
thx for everything n miss u all.

to my sis,
thx for understanding my situation now.
study hard ok.

to those who have been reading my blog,
thx and happy new year.

bye :)
will update after new year.